Dear Princess Celestia,...Yeah, it's cheesy, I know. But it had to be done! :P Anyway, on to the details:
Today I learned that Rarity and the Needler can score obscene amounts frags together, and anything that increases her accuracy, let alone doubles it, turns her into a beast capable of unspeakable destruction. Also, attempting to flee Rarity's wrath is nigh impossible; better to sacrifice yourself to out-roll her defense than attempt to outrun her accuracy. Finally, I learned that Applejack's best bet is not hunting down weapon spawns trying to get a chainsaw, but hunting down item spawns to stock up on medpacks and Speed Boosts...especially Speed Boosts. I feel that this knowledge will lead to a more evenly balanced kill spread among the other ponies; hopefully everypony uses it well.
Your Faithful Slaughterer,
Twilight Sparkle
The Ponies (listed in turn order)
Joseph (dakaptin) as Rarity
Chris as Rainbow Dash/Fluttershy
Joe as Pinkie Pie/Applejack
Played on the Gold Edition "corridor" board.
Rarity - 8 frags (5 RD, 2 PP, 1 FS)
The game started well for Rarity, and got better as time passed. After picking up a Needler, Rarity scored the first frag on poor RD. When PP and RD failed to kill her, Rarity played Cheater Cheater and proceeded to frag PP and RD in consecutive turns. After RD failed to get 8 spaces out of the #6 spawn point, Rarity moved JUST far enough to fire on RD from the corner of a wall, scoring Frag #4. Seeing a trend? For the entire game, Rarity was moving from corner to corner, room to room, staying just outside of everypony's optimal range, while keeping herself in position for optimal kill shots. Certainly, there was quite a bit of luck involved (I swear Rarity cursed her enemies' rolls...) but her sniping ability had everyone else running scared. At one point, Rarity (wearing naught but an exoskeleton) ended up within 4 spaces of PP and FS after failing to frag either of them. On their next turns, they didn't even attempt to attack Rarity. They tried to frag each other, and fled Rarity's wrath (read, whining). Not that it saved them, since Rarity fragged them both on the next turn. I doubt Rarity will have this kind of luck again (she was rolling 5's and 6's against a lot of 2's and 3's) but it was fun to have her pwn the entire board! Best Rarity moment was the end of the game. She had an Over/Under Electromagnetic Cannon and Needler (max 8d6 damage, and rolling against a 10 for accuracy with 4d6), an Over/Under Shotgun and Flamethrower (max 10d6 damage), and a Chainsaw (just for kicks) equipped. Never got to use them, but just having them in play was hilarious.
Abilities: Her Armored status was used to hilarious effect when RD scored a hit with her equipped needler, only to discover that she was rolling 2d6 rather than 4. Other than that, everypony spent more time escaping her rather than attacking her. Know the Weak Spot was used to significant success...though it should probably be worded so that card rules take precedence over this ability. Rarity never fired her Needler at an armored foe, but depending on which rule has precedent, she could fire it at an armored RD and be rolling 4d6 against RD's 2, pretty much guaranteeing a frag if Rarity uses both attacks. Sure, FS and AJ will still have a decent chance of coming out ahead in that exchange, but RD, PP, and TS won't.
Pinkie Pie - 3 frags (2 RD, 1 FS)
PP did relatively well, considering she never actually attempted to frag Rarity. She spent half the game hunting down RD, the other half hunting FS. The two of them had some pretty epic encounters... Once, RD failed to do damage on four consecutive attacks on PP (thanks to those ever-present Adrenaline Surges) and couldn't run far enough away to escape PP's vengeance. Oddly enough, she had an easier time escaping death by Rarity than RD did (more on that in a bit). Plus she even managed to get heavy armor...only to discover Rarity was a honey badger with an Electromagnetic Cannon. Anyway, given the way this game went, she did well coming in second place.
Abilities: PP remembered to test for Where'd You Get That on all of her turns, and it was reasonably successful. She didn't land a single successful Pinkie Sense, though that was more because of a misunderstanding of when the +1 to Pinkie Sense could be applied.
Rainbow Dash - 0 frags
Poor, poor RD. This game had to have the record for all-time worst rolls by RD. She got 10 movement out of Super Speed. She missed every non-melee-range attack. She failed to penetrate her opponent's defenses on almost every attack. She, of all ponies, couldn't escape PP to save her life. After failing to score a single frag, and being fragged four times for her troubles, RD was (quite literally) thrown from the game in favor of FS.
Abilities: Did not matter. Seriously, she rolled a 10 using Super Speed. If you can't do better than a 10 with 5d6, there's not much any other ability will do for you. Poor, poor RD.
Fluttershy - 1 frag (1 PP)
FS' luck was considerably better than RD's, but alas, she still suffered from poor roll syndrome. She did manage to frag PP once, but she still found herself unable to escape death for very long. Toward the end of the game, FS spawned a mere 4 squares away from Rarity. Rarity, feeling unusually generous, simply warned FS to run from her; she had no plans on killing her again, and she really wanted to try her luck against the newly-spawned AJ. After failing to pick up a weapon, FS resolved to attack Rarity with the starter pistol. Before even getting the chance to roll for damage, Rarity played Insubstantial, much to FS' horror. She tried to hide inside a room, but it did no good. Rarity just turned around, scoffing at FS' pitiful attempt at murder, and pinkmisted her through the walls. It was just that kind of game.
Abilities: The STARE was never once successful, despite several attempts. Neither was I'm A Tree. Fight or Flight WAS used successfully, however, and it managed to keep FS alive for one more turn. That life didn't last very long, thanks to PP, but she was still alive for a while.
Applejack - 0 frags
AJ was swapped in for PP, but never actually took a turn. [Note: the observations on AJ's mobile abilities actually came from a pick-up game later that night. I was too tired to pay full attention to what was going on in that game, but I do remember AJ doing quite well hunting for items.]
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